In Everything Give Thanks! (Free Coloring Pages!)

Thanksgiving is the day after the day after tomorrow, and I am hosting for the first time in over a decade. Are you getting ready to host Thanksgiving, too? If you have little ones who need something to do, download the coloring pages in this post, and while they are coloring, get a cup of something warm, and settle in. Maybe some of these ideas will help you get ready.

In prior years, hosting the extended family for a big event would give me a feeling of supreme panic. But I got there naturally: My mom was what some might call an “indifferent housekeeper;” but when company came, everything was different.

I remember, as a kid, my job was to scrub down the baseboards the night before company was to arrive, and dust the ancient piano. My sister or brother would use lemon pledge on the wooden furniture, dust the books, and maybe even scrub the dishes with Ajax to remove every trace of them ever having been used. (Growing up, we had hard water, and the iron in the water would make the white dishes yellow. A little Ajax powder and some elbow grease took care of that.) In short, everything that had been neglected for the prior year would get some well-deserved attention.

But having company was also the justification for doing the projects my mom had long wanted to finish, but hadn’t gotten around to doing: Painting the living room, putting up wallpaper in the bathroom, etc. My mom was so impulsive, and she was a force not to be stopped when she had the momentum of company-on-the-way! But it was hard on her when she put such pressure on herself, and it was hard on the rest of us, too.

I vowed to myself that I wouldn’t live like that. I had intentions of always being on top of my house cleaning, so that anyone was always welcome to come in. And at the start, when Jim and I lived in a small, one-bedroom apartment, I was able to do that. I made careful “maintenance” plans for the week, for the month, etc.

But then we bought our first house, and Tony came along soon after, and all pretensions of the perfect house flew out the window while we struggled to figure out first-time home-ownership and parenting in the same year. Needless to say, we didn’t host anything for a while.

But soon I was in the rotation of hosting either Thanksgiving or Christmas. But dag-nabbit!–I found myself picking up all the same behaviors I swore I never would do. The stress factor would go through the roof the instant I knew we were hosting, and the stress would increase as the event approached. I would try to complete more and more projects, and Jim would just want to escape. One Thanksgiving Eve, my sister and family arrived late at night and caught me pressing the last square of flooring tile in place!

What made me do such crazy things? Some of it was “caught” from my childhood, but a lot of it was plain old pride. I wanted our house to be nice for our guests, I told myself; but in fact, it was really for myself. How else would I have justified using the credit card for home improvements if we didn’t have people coming?

The Lord has had to do gentle work on my heart over the years to teach me to have genuine hospitality, the kind that thinks of the guest first, and doesn’t care so much about impressing the guest with some amazing new feature of my home. How did he do that?

Part of that gentle work came by way of a reduction in our income. It was humbling for me to realize that we just couldn’t afford to put new carpeting on the stairs, because we were out of money, and even out of credit. After that, I made a decision: For me, it was more important to visit with people than to impress them. It may not sound like a big thing, but it changed my whole approach to hospitality.

I began to think about what really mattered, and thought of my brother and sister-in-law’s home. One of the things that always made me feel pampered was that the hand towels in the bathroom were always clean and dry, and there were nice-smelling soaps. (My brother made a point to replace the hand towel every time it got moist.) Everything in their home was clean and clear of clutter, and there was nothing to distract us from visiting with each other. And so we would gather around the big table and play games and talk!

On the other hand, my sister and her husband used subdued lighting, and lots of comfy furniture to create a warm, welcoming feeling. They had lots of interesting art and objects to enjoy, and there was always lots of good food. We would ramble out to the woods, and talk about new things on the horizon.

I thought about other good experiences I have enjoyed in other people’s houses, and I realized that the things that help a guest feel welcome are not the big projects (which they might not even notice); instead, it’s the little things that directly affect her.

Good food, and a comfortable place to sit helps a lot. A warm house, not a chilly one, feels welcoming. Cheerful music in the background helps elevate the mood; remember, your guests may be feeling anxiety about coming to visit, so subtle things that say “We are so glad you are here!” help them feel at home.

Meeting them at the door with a smile or a hug is a wonderful way to start the visit, and it’s OK for things not to be perfectly ready! Some of the best ways to help your guests feel at home is to include them with small tasks. (This is wonderful for your younger guests! Little ones love to help set the table or spoon something into a dish. It makes them feel so grown-up!)

Except for the cost of the food and maybe a new bottle of hand soap, all of these things cost nothing except attention. I was so encouraged when I realized that all of this was within reach, even without a big budget! Tony reminded me that a friend of ours who used to drop by unexpectedly would say, “Did I come to see you or your house?”

Good question; but in the end, it doesn’t matter. If someone comes to see how I don’t measure up, they will surely find something. My dishes don’t match (but I like it that way!) and Mr Darcy has taken to chewing the carpet in his old age. I can’t afford new carpet, so there it is. I refuse to let his chewing dictate my social life!

“There, nothing to worry about now!” I am saying, without saying a word. “See, the carpet is messed up. You won’t have to be super-careful and stiff; enjoy yourself!”

I had a new neighbor once. When she knocked on the door, the house was a total mess because we were shampooing the carpets, and furniture was piled all over. I was thinking, There goes the first impression. As I stumbled all over myself, apologizing, she stopped me.

“It’s all right,” she said, kindly. “We live in our house, too.”

Wisdom.

In my mom’s older years, she relaxed the craziness that was when people came over, and she tended rather to go in the other direction. She began to play tricks on her guests, and even served one of her old friends a “birthday cake,” that was actually a cereal box covered with shaving cream and dotted with red Geritol tablets! It looked delicious and even smelled minty-good. Her friend, Millie, was intrigued by the mint “cake”, and puzzled when she couldn’t cut through it. As she diligently sawed away with a polite smile on her face, we could see the worry beginning to creep in.

When Millie paused in her cutting efforts and tried to lick the “frosting” off her thumb, my mom stopped her (she could barely talk, she was laughing so hard), and let her know it was all a joke. Then the birthday girl had a good laugh, too (of relief, perhaps), and we were all much happier when my mom brought out a lovely, soft, chocolate birthday cake. Mom gave her a big hug and then we all piled on. I wish I had a picture of that fake cake, but I will never forget the look on Millie’s face, when she tried to lick the shaving cream off her thumb!

Laughter really does work like good medicine. It loves, accepts and heals.

So this year, I’m hosting. And yes, I am in the midst of projects that I need to finish before everyone arrives. But this year, it is so different. I have to dust some lamps and move a bookshelf. I am organizing some shelves in the kitchen so that I can get things easier, and yes, we are doing some much needed deep cleaning.

But instead of starting an impossible new project at the last minute, we are planning new recipes to try, and making my brother’s favorite goodies in advance. The important thing is to support our relationships with the dear ones who are coming. Music is so important! We are making playlists for our time with loved ones. And how fun is that?

“Do you remember this song? What about this one?”

While sampling music and getting ready, we are enjoying each other’s company. But better than everything else, Jim said something that really encouraged me.

“I am really looking forward to hosting this year,” he said. “The feeling is totally different, and I can’t wait to praise the Lord publicly for all that He has done for us. We have so much to be thankful for.”

And he is right. (But more about that later.)

So I still have a ways to go to meet my (idealistic) goal of always being ready for company. But my definition of “being ready” has changed. It used to mean that my house was ready for company. This year, I am preparing my heart.