We had a bit of a scare this past week. My elderly father began to experience some weakness, and so my brother and I went with him to get checked out. His labs came back looking good, and we really couldn’t find a reason for his weakness, so his provider suggesting a cardiac consult. That went well, too, and my dad seemed encouraged.
But then, when he was in the middle of a visit with my brother, he suddenly became very weak, and was struggling for breath, so my brother took him to the emergency room. After two days of tests, they accidentally found that he had a blood clot in his leg, and also found some other issues. He is back home now, and we hope he continues to improve. (Please take a moment and pray for him if you would!)
I spent several days in Grand Rapids with my brother and sister, while we watched over my dad and tried to encourage him. And I have to admit it was a bit of a culture shock for me. I am a rural country girl, and suddenly I had to navigate city traffic, parking garages and multiple elevators each time meal time or supply run.
Being out of my element was a good way to gain some new perspective, and the four of us had a lot of time to think some things over, while out of our usual routine. None of us wanted to leave him, and the hospital staff seemed glad we were there watching over him, helping to comfort and care for him.
It was a beautiful place, but also there was an element of tragedy in the air since we didn’t know quite what was wrong. My dad’s symptoms didn’t seem to line up with any known illness quite right, and he was not himself. In his suffering, he believed he was dying.
We spent time every day reading the Bible together, and that seemed to encourage him. It was a familiar activity, at least. But I know that “where two or three are gathered together,” the Lord Jesus Christ himself is there with us, and indeed, we felt the comfort of his presence.
We also spent a lot of time talking about the things we have in common: Old friends, my lovely departed mom, and the fun times we had as teenagers together. We had some fun going down memory lane, but while the past can be fun to visit, we don’t want to live there.
Underneath it all was the idea that my dad is getting near the end of his life. He is in pretty good health, except for this illness, but he is in his upper ’80’s. He knows, and we know, that he has outlived the expected lifespan by many years. We praise God for this, but it brings another set of challenges, because most of his peers have already passed away.
My mom is gone now; they celebrated 53 years together. His brother, and his best friend died a couple of years ago. He has some of his family-of-origin left, and he has some wonderful new friends to cheer him. And his kids and grandkids love him and support him!
One thing that seems to help his joy is when we learn and sing the fun songs he remembers, and when we watch and enjoy the movies he loved. When you love someone, you love what they love, right? It does seem to help.
My dad is a horticulturist, and he has worked with plants all of his life. His favorite thing to do has always been to go out and putter around the greenhouse. So I imagine him as a big old climbing vine, one of those that wander up the door posts and try to take over your house.
A vine like that always has a main root that goes deep into the ground, and that root is the mainstay for the vine. Sure, there are rootlets wherever the vine is near the ground, but they are supplemental; the main nourishment comes from the taproot.
The taproot represents all of the things that gave his life the most meaning. It represents his major investments of time and emotional energy. That would be things like his relationship with my mom and his family, his walk with the Lord, his life-long vocation, and his long-term friends.
The supplemental roots are the new friends he has made recently, and the new activities he has begun. These are easily started, but also easily quit, because he hasn’t invested in them as much. They are rootlets.
So what’s the point? Life thrives on growth, and for growth to happen, there has to be something new that comes in to sustain it. I can see that much of the work my dad is doing is letting go of the things of this world. My mom has passed on. His friends, co-workers and bosses have also passed. The school where he taught for decades was re-named, and no one knows him there anymore. His walls are filled with photos of his happy memories, but most of the people in them are gone.
His main taproot, and the reason for all of the good things that happened in his life is the Lord, and that part remains. This past experience in the hospital was scary, but we talked about how the Lord is in charge of the time we have on this earth, and if he wills us to pass on, we will. If he does not will it yet, then we won’t. And that’s a comfort, because it takes the responsibility off of us, and gives us freedom to focus on what really matters; that is, that no matter how old or young we are, our lives have meaning if we love God and love our neighbor as ourselves.
Standing in that hospital room, watching my dad struggle to breathe was really scary, and we are glad it seems to be improving, but it became really obvious that our love for God sustains us, and our love for each other is the only thing we can take with us out of this life. We may not be able to control how we get here, or how long we stay, but in between those two events, we can control how we love. And love is eternal.
God says, I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you. Jeremiah 31:3
Listen to me, descendants of Jacob, all you who remain in Israel. I have cared for you since you were born. Yes, I carried you before you were born. I will be your God throughout your lifetime–until your hair is white with age. I made you, and I will care for you. I will carry you along and save you. Isaiah 45:3-4, New Living Translation
Do you know anyone who hasn’t heard how much they are loved by God? Do you know? Listen for the voice of God, calling to you, because if you feel that he is drawing you, it’s easy to just respond, and he will show you a whole new way to live and to find “the peace that passes all understanding.” Our heavenly Father loves us, and so he warns us. He teaches us that we don’t have forever to turn to him, and it is not his will that ANY should perish. Don’t wait to reach out to God, if you don’t know him. Just seek him with all your heart, and you will find him!
You shall seek me and find me, when you shall search for me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29:13
And if you DO know God, don’t wait to tell the ones around you who don’t know him yet. You never know when the day will come that is your last chance to show them the Way.
So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts to wisdom. Psalm 90:12
The Fullers Four 