Hissing Confetti: A Kitten’s Tale

Tis the season for kittens; and boy, did we get blessed this year! We didn’t ask for it, but when I see a starving cat, I will feed it. You can tell by the face; if they are very hungry, their cheekbones will be really prominent. We fed a stray who then gave birth to kittens, then disappeared. So, yes, we fed her kittens.

All animals have unique personalities, and little intrigues of their own, and it is fascinating to spend time watching what happens as they interact with each other. But my relationship with these kittens is different, more aloof. They come to me for food; and occasionally, there are sweet ones who want to be cuddled (which I, of course, oblige!), but mostly they provide for themselves in that department.

Our own cat, Mr. Tillotson (“Tilly”), is very confused by the variety of scents on my hand after I come inside, and he insists on inspecting me thoroughly before he will submit to a pet or two. So far, after a good sniffing all the way up my arm (where I have been holding the baby kittens that are outside!), I usually pass inspection.

Anyway, one of the kittens went missing a couple of days ago. We were concerned, because it can’t hunt on it’s own, and there are a number of predators waiting, not to mention cars on the road, and places where they can become trapped.

The little one who was missing, whom Tony dubbed “Confetti,” has never really been tame. From the moment she was born, she has been stand-offish. (I say “she” as a placeholder, for I have not been able to pick her up and examine yet–I am not good at figuring out what’s what when they are kittens, anyway!)

So after 24 hours of her being missing, I got concerned. Little kittens have to eat regularly or they will starve. But I won’t keep you in suspense. After 36 hours, she reappeared!

Tony was able to feed her by herself, actually holding some food in his hand for her, so she wouldn’t be crowded out by the others. He sat on the floor of the porch and just laid his hand, palm up, on the floor and waited. After a while, she came up and ate the food out of his hand. (With her track record, she must have been starving!) She actually ate three handfuls, and spend some time licking his fingers as if to say, “Thank you!”

So we were relieved that she was back. And this morning, she was still there, waiting to be fed with the others. But she was alone in the group, and all the others cut a wide path around her. As I opened the door with the food, I heard why. She was hissing. The others kept one eye on her and the other on me, or rather, on the food I was carrying.

I spoke gently to her, looking her in the eye, “It’s OK, little one, you don’t have to hiss.” They have no idea what I am saying, probably, but they reacted to tone of my voice. She kept hissing, but my voice calmed the others and they just ignored her antics.

I put the food down, being careful to make sure to spread it out so they don’t have to compete too much. (I always hold some in reserve, too, just in case.) I watched Confetti, and she held back; but then, she looked up at me. It was almost as if she was waiting to be fed separately. So I put a tablespoon of food down in front of her, and she ate.

I usually stay outside a while after I feed them, making sure everyone gets some. I feel like it’s part of my duty to make sure things are divided more or less fairly. If I just dump a pile and leave, the bounty will be used like a commodity, and some will exclude others. And instead of a blessing, the food will become a torment to those who can’t reach it. I don’t let that happen.

As I stood there, watching them, I thought about how the Lord must feel, when he provides for his children. Do we act in similar ways when the Lord provides for us? And how does He feel when He sees how we act?

I was thinking of the parable of the unforgiving servant in Matthew 18:23 – 35. The servant was forgiven a massive debt, but he responded to the forgiveness he received by seeking a person who owed him money, and demanding payment. When that person begs him for mercy, in the same way he had begged for mercy from his master, he refused.

The kittens all beg for food. But once in a while one will stand over a pile of food, growling at all who come near. The food came for all of them, but this cat will grab more than a fair portion, and refuse to share. (This happens when a cat is starving–or thinks she is starving–and has a difficult relationship with the other cats.)

This is kind of like the servant who received a blessing, forgiveness, but refused to forgive another when it was in his power to do so. The cat who grabs a big piece of food, a total blessing, but refuses to share it, is similar.

The Bible tells us that God meets the needs of everyone on this earth without partiality. Jesus said, “He makes His sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and the unjust.” (Matthew 5:45) But I am beginning to think of His blessings as a test. Do we remember to thank Him? Do we assume the whole blessing is just for us, or do we remember to pass on some (or all of it):

“If someone has enough money to live well and sees a brother or sister in need but shows no compassion—how can God’s love be in that person? Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions. Our actions will show that we belong to the truth, so we will be confident when we stand before God.” (1 John 3:17 -19)

“Our actions will show we belong to the truth.” Notice that it doesn’t say “our beliefs” will show we belong to the truth; it says “our actions.” Jesus told his disciples that we are to know the truth about whether someone is good or bad by their “fruit” (Matthew 7:17 – 20). And in Luke 6:45, Jesus concludes, “Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.” What’s really inside of us will come out by how we talk and what we do. Jesus said that the world would know we are His followers by how we love each other (John 13:35).

What do your actions show to those who are watching? Or to frame it another way: What do your actions tell you about the status of your own heart? We can fool ourselves with a false image in our own minds about who we are. We know who we wish we are, but intention and commitment are not the same thing.

In the same way, we can try to be a serious follower of Jesus. We can read our Bibles, and maybe we even spend considerable time in prayer, but do our actions show that Jesus has changed our hearts? Do we instinctively have compassion when we notice someone is suffering? Do we put others’ needs before our own? Do we go out of our way to help someone for whom no one seems to care? Do we do nice things without others knowing who did it?

Your actions are where it’s at when it comes to your true self. And the true “tell” is the actions that come out when you are under some kind of stress. When you are tired at the end of the day, and your little one comes to you with a problem, how do you respond? When you are “tapped,” do you still listen and try to help, or do you push her away? The answer to that will give you some insight.

Look, we all have limits. We are not super people just because we are following Jesus. But He has no limits except in ways He limits himself. He has ultimate power over everything. He has endless love and mercy. He has unlimited resources. And he is not subject to death or even time. (Can you even imagine what that means, not being subject to linear time? If so, explain it to me!)

My point in all this is that we are limited, but God is not. And if we are truly connected to Him, we will have access to those limitless resources. He can give us love when our reservoir is empty. He can float resources our way when we have needs. He will fill us with his power, and give us wisdom whenever we ask. So if we are fully connected to God, then we can be “partakers of the divine nature.” (2 Peter 1:3-4)

Through obedience and submission to God, we can exhibit spiritual gifts that will spill out into the physical world. In practical terms, when you exercise your will to meet the needs of someone else, even when you are already exhausted, God will fill you with the strength and stamina to do it because you are obeying Him. And He won’t ask you to do something without giving you the means to do it. (Can I get an “amen” from the parents of small children or weary caregivers of all kinds?)

God can even top it off by giving you a heart full of joy while you are in the midst of your work. It all depends on whether you are trying to do things from your own power, or if you are looking to Jesus to provide what you need. We cannot even want to do these kinds of things on our own.

So let’s return to the wayward kitten who hisses. When Confetti finished the tablespoon of food I put out especially for her, she looked left and right for more, but only saw the hunched backs of other determined eaters. And then she looked up at me.

She looked up at me, y’all! And before her eyes were even fully on me, I moved forward with more food, just for her. I was just waiting for her to look up, and the spoonful of food was already in my hand. As she gratefully began to eat again, I put down another spoonful, just to make sure she was going to have enough.

It went through me like a lightning bolt that her look was a sign of faith. That’s our role. Just look up, and the Lord will be there faster than you can imagine to meet the need, provide the strength, give the wisdom, or fill you with inspiration.

Look to Jesus when you have a need. If you look left and right, you may not find help. The other men and women around you are also dependent beings, and have limited resources and limited ways of meeting their own needs. If you work hard to leverage situations so that you can pry resources from them, you are reducing their limited store, and you may have to answer to the Lord for that.

But He is waiting for you to look up, waiting with a full supply of whatever it is that you need. Our job is to receive from Him with open hands, ready to pass on what we have received so that He can fill our empty hands once again. When we give, we receive more than we gave, though not always in the same currency.

This is how we tap into unlimited resources: Jesus is the door (John 10:9); He is the way, the truth, and the life (John 14:6). He is the ultimate goal (Philippians 3:10-11; Romans 10:13) of our searching, and we find everything we need in Him. Seek Him first. (Matthew 6:33)

So take it from a little wild kitten who has nothing in the world and lives on a porch sometimes. Look up and you will receive more than you expected, enough so that you can share, and then look up again when you need more. God loves you so much, and he hates to see you suffer. He is so glad you came back!

Just look up.