Every time I post, I pray for everyone who reads it, now and later, both those I know, and those I have never met, but feel I know just the same. I pray for you to be blessed, to be shown what is needed, and to be comforted with the love of your brothers and sisters in Christ.
I have been hoping that those who read are praying for me, as well, because I do struggle to complete all the things the Lord asks of me. And after this week, I know you do. Thank you, my dear friends, for lifting me up in prayer. It means everything!
This is “Minky.” She recovered from a terrible illness and I don’t understand how it could be, except that God saved her. We certainly prayed, and now her little soft self is raring to go!
I had a potent week. Over the weekend, I had a life-threatening health emergency. It didn’t make sense, and it was completely unexpected, both in the emergency and in the resolution. But it shook me up, and I needed a few days to recover.
I was fragile, as I recovered. I felt confused, shaken. Finally, on Thursday morning, I woke early and began to document all the things that had happened. As I wrote, listing not only the health event and its resolution, but also many other things that had happened and we had not yet resolved. As I wrote, the weight of each thing fell on me and accumulated.
When I was finished, I was feeling devastated and overwhelmed. I sat with my journal in my lap, and in the same way King Hezekiah did when he received the terrible threatening letter from his enemies (2 Kings 19: 14-19), I laid my journal open before the Lord.
“I don’t understand, Lord. Why is everything going wrong, with no way forward? Why has my health been struck? Why am I so powerless in the face of everything? Please, send me your word, through the scripture, to guide me. I am empty and desolate.”
And as I prayed, I thought of two specific chapters. I knew what one was, and the other, I wasn’t sure. As I prayed, I intended to open my Bible and read, but I strangely fell asleep.
A notification on my phone woke me, and it was a text from my sister. She sent me a verse: Psalm 5:12.
“For You, O Lord, will bless the righteous; With favor You will surround him as with a shield.”
A rush of warmth came over me, and I felt relief. God had sent me a message through my sister! But on the heels of that came all of the memory of my doubts, and the thought came:
What if I am not one of the righteous? We often fool ourselves by thinking we are doing all right, and that is sometimes just self-righteousness. That’s the opposite of righteousness, and speaking verses and spouting ideas about God has nothing to do with that. Righteousness only comes through Jesus, via the forgiveness of sins.
What if I have unknown unconfessed sin, and I am therefore unrighteous? Why would all this be happening otherwise?
In that moment, I remembered the chapter I had thought of after my prayer for guidance. I opened to the book of Job, and began to read.
“6 He does not preserve the life of the wicked, But gives justice to the oppressed.
7 He does not withdraw His eyes from the righteous;
But they are on the throne with kings,
For He has seated them forever,
And they are exalted.
8 And if they are bound in fetters,
Held in the cords of affliction,
9 Then He tells them their work and their transgressions—
That they have acted defiantly.
10 He also opens their ear to instruction,
And commands that they turn from iniquity.
11 If they obey and serve Him,
They shall spend their days in prosperity,
And their years in pleasures.
12 But if they do not obey,
They shall perish by the sword,
And they shall die without knowledge.” (Job 36:6-12)
The first verse in the above passage struck me, because over the weekend, God had definitely preserved my life. There was no question that the reason I am here is because God wills it. And the promise of that verse is that God does not preserve the life of the wicked.
It was an amazing reassurance, but I still didn’t understand. He saved my life, but I knew I was making so many mistakes and was stuck in so many things that I couldn’t seem to escape.
But then I re-read verse 8 and following. Verse 9 speaks of how God will show those who are trying to follow Him what they are doing wrong. In other words, He promises to convict of sin, and if we are convicted, we are PROVEN that He loves us, He has chosen us, and He is shepherding us back to closeness with Him.
We are righteous, not because of what we do, though our actions do have the ability to please or disappoint Him; but we are righteous if He calls us righteous.
God knows our hearts, even when we don’t know ourselves. He knows our intentions, our failings and weaknesses, and what our will wants. And He is the only judge of those things.
Jesus died for everyone, every sin from the beginning to the end, once and forever. We are forgiven because of what He did. Our righteousness flows from Him, both because of His sacrifice, and because of His making us new so that we are able to do righteous things.
But we all fail while we are on this earth. I must not let the fact that I fail shake my faith. It is inevitable. But so is God’s choosing of me, his gifting of me, and His sovereign Will. May His will be done on earth as it is in Heaven!
God is so good, my dear ones! He loves you more than you know, and He sees the struggle and He understands in a deeper way than anyone else could, and sees with a love that is so deep we cannot understand it. He wants to be with you, and see you exalted!
Who is righteous? Whoever God says. You will know it if you feel the burden of your sin and desire to repent.
What is the fate of the righteous if they follow the promptings of the Holy Spirit of God in obedience?
“He does not withdraw His eyes from the righteous; But they are on the throne with kings, For He has seated them forever, And they are exalted.” (Job 36:7)
Oh, be encouraged, my dear friends! You are loved more than you know, and you don’t have to do it all yourself. Do your best, and follow the loving prompt of the Spirit as he leads you in the paths of righteousness. It is the Way to Life!
Thank you for your prayers, my dear friends, and know I am praying for you. Stand strong in the Lord, and have a blessed week!
The Fullers Four 